


Silk and Blood

by JoltikBlue



Series: A Nightmare of Blood (or a Dream of Indulgence) [1]
Category: Castlevania (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Animal Death, Animal Transformation, Bat!Alucard, Blood and Gore, Depression, Hurt No Comfort, I'LL GIVE IT A HAPPY ENDING IN THE SEQUEL PROMISE GUYS, Insanity, Loneliness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Sadism, Suicidal Thoughts, Trevor and Sypha aren't in this one but in the sequel, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Wolf!Alucard, he does not cope well, not for long tho those lil shits, tbh it's to be expected
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:06:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23059708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoltikBlue/pseuds/JoltikBlue
Summary: It was inevitable. He was a monster’s son, and perhaps a monster himself. Laying here alone in silk and blood, it seemed that concept was more real than ever.With a shudder, he let a fang bite down gently into the meat of his thumb. Letting it pierce the skin, allowing blood to well up as something else began to well up within his heart. Anger. Rage, at the injustice of his existence.- - -After that night with Taka and Sumi, Alucard finds himself wandering down a dark path, following a light tinged red with blood. Accepting his solitude with a hint of bloodlust, Alucard begins to fall into temptation. Will Trevor and Sypha be able to pull him back? Or is he doomed to wander the earth as a monster.
Series: A Nightmare of Blood (or a Dream of Indulgence) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658203
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Silk and Blood

**Author's Note:**

> Season 3 was painful guys. And i'm gonna up that pain to 11.
> 
> Let's be honest, even before the latest season Alucard deserved better. So I wanted to give him a little bit of twisted revenge and dark indulgence before pushing him back onto the path of angsty redemption. Also, I wanted season 3 to have Wolf!Alucard and Bat!Alucard, so i'm gonna make up for it in this fic :)

The silence that followed that clean sweep of his sword was brutal.

Before he’d even seen it arc towards them, racing to deliver the fatal slice in a whirl of silver, Alucard momentarily hoped that it would fail. That the twin’s blow would come down unheeded and stab the life out of him.

The he’d closed his eyes and let the sickening sound of pierced flesh rain down. Along with hot splatters of blood. And seconds later, the two soft thumps of bodies sounded out.

He lay there for seconds, minutes, realising that he wasn’t in pain any longer, that the bindings had loosened their holds and that the warm sensation creeping up past his thigh was likely blood. Still, he waited for the quiet gurgling of their last breaths to finish.

When the quiet finally spread out, like a blanket onto his wearied form, when he knew that he was once again alone, did Alucard let his heart split open and grief wash back over him. As if it had never left.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid. Why had he'd thought this would end any differently? Clenching his eyes tighter, hoping to stop the tears from forming, he took a breath. Then two.

But like a rising tide, the agony, the grief rose in his chest and overtook everything, drowning him. His body spasmed with minute tremors, and he covered his face with a clawed hand, cool against his flushed skin. It was unfair, why had they hurt him like this? He’d tried, honest to God he’d tried, but that hadn’t seemed to matter. Nothing kind he ever did mattered in the end.

It was inevitable. He was a monster’s son, and perhaps a monster himself. Laying here alone in silk and blood, it seemed that concept was more real than ever.

With a shudder, he let a fang bite down gently into the meat of his thumb. Letting it pierce the skin, allowing blood to well up as something else began to well up within his heart. Anger. Rage, at the injustice of his existence.

“My father never liked magical weapons. I, however, never said that I did not use them.” He spoke the words to a dead room, as if justifying himself. Letting a touch of bitterness slip into his voice.

The room didn’t reply.

“You-… You had a choice.” He choked out, finally opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling, burning tears escaping from his lashes to trail down his cheeks. “You didn’t have to-…” Was he talking to them or himself. Both maybe? It didn't matter, the deed was done.

The rich scent of blood curled in the air, like oil on water, dragging him upwards from his prone position. He looked at the two bodies dully, a distant part of him noting that the sheets and silken curtains were now irreparably ruined. Wasted, just like the two lives before him that had been so violently sprayed out onto the bed. He untangled his legs from theirs, still unsettlingly warm, and placed unsteady feet onto the wood floor. In a daze, he stumbled forward, unconsciously grasping the sheets with his hand to drag it along with him, clutched to his waist.

A leaden weight was dragged along with him for a few seconds, before one of the bodies dropped unceremoniously to the ground with a muffled sound, leaving him free to wander out of the room.

He couldn’t think. Didn’t know where he was, where he was going. Groping like a blind man, he drifted through the airy halls, trying to escape from everything. It was as if a flower was blooming within his chest, pulsing and pushing the breath from his lungs, trailing thorny tendrils in its wake that teared his veins out of his chest in wiry red strands. It was a flower of tears and sodden sadness.

Only when he stood within a torn room, smelling of staleness and ash and a small gleaming ring catching the light of the moon, did he come back to reality.

He fell to his knees as the longing, the loneliness, hit him. It raked fresh claw marks down his soul, rendering him breathless and curled up into a shivering ball next to the aged scorch marks on the carpet.

It hurt, everything hurt. He covered his face, scalding tears leaking past his fingers and dripping onto the floor.

He deserved this for his sin. Killing a father was sinful, and his father had loved him, in the end. He knew it, the moment that Dracula had paused, trembling, whispering to himself his apologies and regret and reaching out for a final embrace, something to comfort them both. Never able to say goodbye before he’d been staked through the heart.

Trevor may have been the one to wield the killing blow, but Alucard had stood by and let it happen. This was all a punishment. Eternal solitude and torture, forever.

He didn’t want it. He hadn’t wanted any of this to happen, he wanted to be home with mum and dad and just happy. Not in a stone grave with only ghosts for company. He curled up further, trying to shield his clenching heart from the agony of the world. How did he make it stop? The betrayal, the pain, the unending misery, was it going to slowly kill him? Could he let it?

He lay there for hours, keening his sorrow to a cold and uncaring world. He pulled the bloodied sheet up higher, cradling himself like how mother would tuck his blanket over him when he was young.The portrait of Dracula and Lisa and Adrian still hung on the wall, eyes watching in morbid quiet. But now, to Alucard, those eyes that once seemed warm, watched his shaking form in disgust. He was an abomination, a murderer and a pitiful, worthless creature that hung onto the words of humans like they were a lifeline.

Suddenly, overcome with an amusing revelation, Alucard let his jaw hang open and a bubbling laugh filled the room. He was truly a bloodsucking parasite. More of a leech than any other vampire could ever be.

It was true! He’d become this way, suffered this way, because he was entirely and unapologetically weak. Mother had been burnt alive because he wasn’t able to protect her. He’d let Dracula continue his genocide because he had been too weak to stop him, and had been unable to allow his father even a moment to utter his final words because he’d been too frail to kill him with dignity or stop Trevor from snatching his life away.

And then he had moped in his home for months, living like a rat. Eating and talking to the walls, waiting for somebody to come along and fill his life because he didn’t have the initiative to do it himself.

And then, when people finally stumbled upon him, he presented himself to them so pathetically, that they must’ve seen him little more than a lost child and taken advantage of him. Oh, it must have been so easy for Taka and Sumi to play him, to let him dance for them like a smiling dog.

He hissed, feeling burning fire flow through his veins, washing out the last remnants of grief. 

Fucking fool. What a fucking fool he had been. This was natural, an inevitable outcome for living like a wretch. A wake-up call even, telling him that he wouldn’t last even a year of eternity if he continued like this.

He laughed louder, rolling onto his back, chest heaving as mad giggles escaped him. His weakness had been nipped in the bud, a mercy really. Now he could move on, past the silly need for comfort and humans. He’d indulged his human side for too long, and had been punished for it. The world wasn’t going to accept him as a person, that dream should die now.

As the first warmth breaths of sunrise stirred the curtains to the open windows and the soft glow of morning began to frame his body, pulling shadows out from beneath him, Alucard finally realised the goddamn truth.

If he wanted to survive as a dhampir, then he needed to accept that he couldn’t live as a vampire nor a human. He needed to live life as the lonely monster he was.

Staggering to his feet, Alucard stretched, feeling every click of his spine as he straightened out. He had felt empty, tired even, but now he was filled with a new thirsty purpose that blocked out everything else. None of that was important anymore. Keeping the sheets wrapped around himself, only for the sake of his dignity, Alucard sped through the hallways, back to his room where the carnage lay untouched.  
He paused, looking at the two corpses, rigid and sodden with their own blood.

They looked breakable. He could probably snap them in two, rip them limb from limb easily if he wanted to, if it would make him feel better. It would erase the events of the room in a way. Turn their deaths into a pleasurable revenge fantasy than a desperate attempt to save his own life.

But the fire went out of him as soon as it came. What would be the point? They had already sullied him, nothing he could do now could hurt them enough for what they had done to him. Tearing them apart would probably only make him seem more pathetic than he already was.

Stooping low, he located their nightclothes and dressed them carefully, not particularly feeling the urge to humiliate their memory with something as crude as nakedness. Even whilst tying the strings of their shirts, he could feel the whites of their eyes glaring at him, blaming him for how he had led them on with false acts of humanity.

“Not my fault that you both couldn’t just be patient.” He muttered to the air.

He propped them both next to the wall, like dolls, as he quickly dressed himself in his own stained nightshirt. Then, taking them both within his arms, he slowly wandered his way down towards the entrance hall of the castle, taking his time to hear the steady patter of old blood onto the carpets.  
Reflecting back on it, he’d wasted two perfectly good meals. Starved vampires would kill for less, and here he was with two decaying blood-bags. His mouth curled up into a humourless smile, exposing his two spotless fangs. The benefits of being a dhampir, he guessed. Hunger was never that urgent.

Stepping out into the early morning, Alucard winced at the weak sunlight. His vampire side was still a little sensitive to the day, but it was quite manageable. He let the bodies fall from his shoulders, down the steps like rag dolls, as he zipped his way to the nearest tree and snapped two sturdy branches from it. A bit of careful trimming, and he now had two long stakes, jagged and splintered but workable.

Racing back to the steps, he planted them on either side before turning to his decorations.

He chose Sumi first. Her hair was falling free of the mattered blood that was beginning to crust on the side of her face. He considered closing her eyes, letting her have a peaceful expression etched out onto her corpse for her final weeks on earth.

Then he remembered that none of that mattered, and with a violent twist and a deep crunch, he spun and shoved the spike through her stomach, up through the inside of her ribcage and forcing it out of her agape mouth.  
Blood sprayed, but it was more sluggish and clotted already and came out almost black. She slid down a fraction before she held, rivulets of red slowly dripping down the stake in globs. A tooth that had been knocked loose swung outside her lips, attached to the gum by a single tedious thread. Her eyes bulged, but did no more than stare accusingly at the blue sky.

He did the same with Taka. He tried to step back to admire his handiwork, but found it no more interesting than watching a fly crawl on a window. No sick sense of satisfaction or pang of regret.  
It was simply a method to keep others away. Nothing more than a warning, using the most ghastly materials he had.

“Well, it worked well enough for dear dead old dad.”

He waited for a moment longer, waiting vainly for some sort of sign that what he had done was wrong and bad and immoral and that he should stop **right now** before he did something he regretted, oh OH what would Trevor and Sypha think?  
But the wind simply blew softly and the cicadas chirped peacefully and the corpses swung in the breeze.

And he made his way back into the mouth of the castle, letting the cool, quiet darkness embrace him softly.

**Author's Note:**

> So, a few chapters are gonna follow Alucard and how he devolves into part-insanity, and then i'm gonna make a sequel where Trevor and Sypha return and try to piece their broken friend together (just like they should've done at the end of season 2 but nevermind i'm not bitter about it i'm not trust me guys i'm not).


End file.
